yahs.i call this a shitty day.

yahs.today is a plain shitty day.

i got scolded like crazy by some girl that was so rude.asked my boss (which is my dad) to close down our company,ask my dad to file for brankrupt all that shit.i think she was plain rude.and yahs,although you are right,i lied to you saying my aunt wasn't there. but it wasn't your first time calling in to scold us right?we tried to help you but you became so hostile,we already returned your deposit and you want to file a lawsuit against us?i think it is pretty ridiculous.
On the other hand,yahs.i utd that she is doing her job too.but i think it's pretty funny,she rather waste the time calling us then find another person who can provide the items she require.so yahs,even if you are in dire straits, don't throw your temper on others, because it spoils another person's day, throwing temper doesn't improve the situation.who doesn't want the business to go on smoothly?don't say nasty words,bacause it really hurts.

and yahs.secondly,my mom and my cousin is joining the "silence"club or should i say ignoring club?the club that only ignores me?for my mom,i know its my fault,but i don't think it is entirely my fault though.as for the other person,i don't know what is the reason,if i know i would have apologised.seriously,because i love her as much as i love my siblings.or should i say,i treated her as my sister? and this invisible thing is killing me,hurting me slowly.i really hope to talk to you,joke like we used to.l

life's short,treasure it.Don't wait till you lose it. thats how my dad taught me,so will you treasure me now?

BTE and OT.

these are the two words running in my head now.i need to pass basic thoery evaluation by 5th april or else my basic theory test will be cancelled.i dunno why i just can't pass.it makes me feels stupid.rea;;y.most ppl one time pass.i really dunno what's wrong and i doubled checked the answers...

and OT?
i just got to know i got into occupationl therpay in nyp.and i think no one got into that course except me.so i am alone there.i hope i meet great frens there(: i hope.ori pray i meet someone i know(:

it's been a while since i hear from you boy..

it's been utterly shocking.

less than a year and now you have bid goodbye;and it's a everlasting goodbye.
the first time i placed my eyes on you,you were different,you looked like a malay and i happened to hear about your story about your background. i was not to mention about your family cause as s young boy,you know what was happening and i kept mum.

the 2/3 days at a famosa where i played with you,it was so happy,oh boy,now you are gone,it makes me realise how unpredictable life can be.i kept playing around with you,.taking care of you,bringing you for breakfast as though you are like the little bro of mine.and when someone asked you if i am pretty you just smiled and whispered the answer into your cousin's ear.at the night carnival,your cousin finally told me that you don't think i was pretty,true enough,it does hurt me a little but it's okays,i know it's the truth and i know you are the cute,innocent boy that i love. you taught me how to play nitendo's  cooking mama and it was so nice of you to lend me your nitendo to play.you may be that very distant boy,but i felt the special bond.

oh boy,now you are in a place where you might be happier,that will be the last and first time i see you.this is life;your life,you were a great boy and now you are a great angel.thank you for all the great memories,you may not be here physically any more,but you will stay alive in my heart and memories-forever.

boy,you will be missed.thanks for making the difference in our lives.i love you!<3

okays,i got scolded AGAIN

yahs,i know,i know...i know i can't just fall down like this!i know i must pull myself up,but try standing in my shoes,you will know how terrible it feels to fail.

and rmb,when i pull myself up,i won;t be the same,i will be stand taller,stand higher and let those that look down on me see how well i can be!esp xx teacher!i will show you!
it's a little more crappy seeing this on the driving centre screen:

book B-76% = FAILED
book C-89% = FAILED
book D(half done)-92%=PASSED

it makes it looks like everything is fails when you fail one stuff.BUT I am going to pass the real one!

nightmares come to an end,but not reality.

THIS IS CRAP!really crap.i landed on singapore on 15th march,8+ pm just to get a blow after another which sends me spinning and spinning tilll i broke down and cried till my eyes swell.

1st,i got the news about the appeal for gp.actually when i called home for the application for nyp,my sis read the msg to me.but i thought no one would appeal and it's quite exp.and i didn't hear about any closing application date,so i just threw that aside to settle the NYP stuffs.who knows?so many ppl applied,i was in shock for 2 few mins.

2nd,biggest blow.i read all the msg and the same msg keep appearing from diff ppl,and most of them got their solutions and i guess i was the only lost soul running around in circles.some told me they are going to retake,some told me they are going to apply and wait and when they start asking me,telling me that the application dateline is like TMR or Wed(which is today) and i was lost.i don't even know what course i want to study.So,I AM LOST.

3rd,i haven't settled down and my piano teacher called,told me to get down in like 5 mins to get the piano book from him so that i can use it for tmr's exam.I was flustering,like a mad woman;i haven't been practicing piano for like more than a week and with my lousy skills i am going for grade 2 exam.So,I WAS MORE LOST.

4th,my mom started yelling at me and my sis.Yelling + Nagging about we not giving a hand while she had to clear all the luggages to do laundry.SO,I WAS VERY LOST + Frustrated.

5th,i told my dad about the retaking and appealing for gp,e told me it's alrights to go back to sch to study for another year,which was actually my last option.cause i really don't wish to get back there.it's like a nightmare.i don't want to go back to the place where i failed so many times despite the hardwork.it's like something that is lost,once lost,you can never get it back.,the confidence that was lost due to all the failures just adds up all tgt. i  don't have the confidence to get back there and tell myself i will do better.i can't promise that,i don't have the confidence in myself. Does anyone knows how it feels like?

1+2+3+4+5 = EXPLOSION!


my tears kept rolling down like nobody's business.i called shu ling and i cried more.i was lost,really lost in the faraway land that may send me to hell.it just hurts to see the result slip again or hear someone talk about it.i was like a naked child running in the woods,running to somewhere which has no ends.i just kept on crying and i shouted.i let out all my emotions at one go.At south Africa,i was smiling and i was telling everyone that i don't wish to return here,don't wish to face  the reality.the reality that hurts like anything.


and heys,to everyone: i know i was harcsh,i know i am being emo but it's all because i am los,i really am baffled.i am sorry,guys. i didn't throw  my tantrums on purpose,i didn't want to lose control of my emotions.i really love you guys.so,i am sorry.esp to mom amd dad and my family mambers, i know you guys are trying to help me and trying to make me happy.i really appreciate it. :)
Lim Kelly,sorry.Stop being mad at me.i didn't purposely lock you outside the room,i just needed some time,some moments which i can all alone and cry my lungs out.

1,2,3 and i am pulled back into reality....

my results?i can't bring myself to say it cause it is so unthinkable that i just wished it was a horrible nightmare.A nightmare that can be forgotten when i am awake,a nightmare which i can console myself when i am awake,a nightmare that wasn't true....

After A'Levels, i had been trying not to think about the results,not to worry too much about it,hoping that miracle s do actually happen,i had been clinging on the little tiny weeny hope. But it's all dashed now,my hopes and dashed.AND THIS IS THE REALITY!!!!!a rude wakening reality!!!!!!!!!!!!!IT IS THE REALITY!!!!!!!!!!!!A reality that i can't console myself,a reality that makes me lost.

you know what is feels like to see your results slip which has UNGRADED IN GP?THEN A STUPID FREAKING D for maths,D for BIO and a FREAKING C in H1 GEO?!i tell you straight in the face,it's freaking   freaking irritating and freaking SAD.it makes you feel so lost,so stupid and it makes you lose your confidence each and every sec.and it hurts each and everytime you think about it,IT IS JUST SO FREAKING HURTFUL......

lost in the faraway land.....

life is as confusing as ever..i am sitting alone in the office waiting for my dad's arrival.

" when is your results coming out?"
"when is your results coming out?"
"when?when? WHEN?"

i think it's almost confirm it's this fri-5th of march!!!!!!

" so what are you interested in?"

i am also lost,the answers i could only give is, i don't know,i don't know...
i think since young something has been wrong with me,i don't know why but i don't have a talent/flair in ANYTHING!what is happening?i thought everyone is suppose to have one?how come i don't have one?!?!

i am lost,lost in this faraway lan where i don't know where my future lies,don't know what are my results going to turn out to be,don't know what i am interested in,don't know what i want to do in the future.maybe it's because i am just the plain little baby that needs to be spoonfed?or am i just plain stupid?