what am i looking forward to?

ask me a question now, ' just exactly what are you waiting for in return?'
i can give you an outright answer, i dont know.i seriously do not know.
i kept persuading myself the impossibilities, but i just couldn't let go,could you tell me why?

this choking feeling in my throat

this is all that paints the feeling i have deep within me now

everyone that reads this is commenting that i havent been updating this secret place. why?cause i am so lazy to on my computer nowadays. i practically am lazy to do anything these days.maybe i am getting too old?

the above picture paints all the feelings i have now.
when the age catches up with us,we look around and realize quite a bit of the stuffs no longer used to be the same.the expectation from others to you,the expectation on yourself,the loneliness, the list just isnt exhaustive.you just get so tired of practically of everything. just so sick that you dont want to whisper a single word for fear that it brings a heavy responsibility that you wouldn't want to carry.

i just got woke up with a 7 hours of sleep by a loud shot of "DO YOU HAVE A BRAIN?" plus a Loud bang on the door. yesterday i was scolded yet again for not knowing he wants to hand up the defect list.
do you want to know who is that he?yes, he is my dad.
i aren't angry with him anymore. rather i am disappointed with myself. do you know that feeling that suffocates you cause you find yourself so amusingly stupid and careless?
i am having that now.

okay. enough of my blabber.

i met up with shu ling ytd. it's just amazing that i can talk to her for hours and i never get tired from it.
if you had asked me what i am most thankful about,i am sure having friends like Shu Ling is an asset to me.
Sarang~

AND!
 Lastly, let this post end on a happy note.
WORMY is attached.with Belle getting attached Soon!
for wormy,i don't know how to spell that word "HAPPY" when i heard the news from her.i know she had to meet someone who treasured her.she is like a gem that needs lots of love,care and concern.she has found her "gem" that loves her for who she is, love her like a buddy,love her like a little princess.
go on wormy and her prince,stay blissful!

for belle, i am just so excited about her great leap of faith.i applaud for that leap cause that was what i always prayed for her.go on,take the bigger leap with that boy,you will reach somewhere.i am sure of that,the somewhere that you will reach will be a palace named -blissful forever.

these are people who are so special that no words can describe their importance to me.
bless them (:

it's already WEDNESDAYYYYYYY!

oh my oh my~tomorrow and FRIDAY is my big day! also an important for wormy! (it's her surgery time!good lucks okaY!<3)

here is the plan for tmr, 10.18 is my grade 3 piano practical exam then after me is another girl's turn then it's my youngest sis turn.yes, its indeed very embarrassing to go for grade 3 exams at such an (old) age and what's worst?i am going in with my youngest sis.i feel double the stress as compared to last year. yes, you are right again if you remember i failed my grade 2 exam!:( i think i am the first on earth,and i cannot ever erase the image of the examiner's ( a Caucasian musician who can play so well!) face when he opened the door to call me in, cause the exam is held in a kindergarten music school! so when i was there, i looked like a retarded with few young kids around me and with all the very very cute drawings on the wall.i was way too too too over-aged for that!and, everyone had an accompaniment except me, i rush there and was soaked in sweat. sometimes i really feel the loneliness.... especially when everyone has their accompaniment except me. but this year, i have my sis, i should be grateful! but in the meantime, i am also afraid that she passed the test and i fail like last year!

Then after piano exams, i going to head down to driving practice, the last one before the second attempt of driving test.

sometimes i really think i am quite a failure,dont do well in studies and dont do well in other aspects also.
but i going to and need to be positive! I WANT TO DO WELL! please protect me!(; (:

just the way i am..

i dont know why,but i just feel like blabbering a few sentence here.
i am tired,tired,tired..tired of all the things that are happening in school right now.some people are just weird,sometimes because of everything that is happening,i feel really bad;upset;disappointed.


but like what we always say, everything will come to an end. thinking on the positive note,we are still "people" playing around,just with a tired mind and heart,trying to guess what both of the peoples are thinking about.can we stop the guessing game?it's really making everyone so worn out.


together with the works upcoming:
-driving test straight after chinese new year,
-piano exam in late feb or early march
-school projects and test
it's piling up all over again!


but thinking of the happy things, CHINESE NEW YEAR is coming! YAYHHHS!<3