Growing up

Yes, maturing should be the word. But apparently I must admit that I don't want to mature yet. 

The society pushes you, the people around you pushes you to get into some stuffs whixh you don't even want to get into. Why is it so? 

A whole new level of surprises are awaiting me? 

I am having this internal conflict within myself. I aren't happy all the time. I know I should be, I should learn to be mature, learn to plan. 

昨天今天的我.

Blabbering continues. If you know what happened the night before, yes you are one of my closest friend. I went partying.. 

Partied real hard, I went mad on the dance floor and literally threw a person's face. I know I was at fault. I know I shouldn't do that but I don't know why the alcohol influenced me of all those actions. I just wanted an exclusive night with you and your friends. But all these thoughts were washed into the drain, I lost myself there. I portrayed myself in such a way that even your friends judge me now. 

I am sorry. And yes,no more partying ( with you). You wouldn't want to anymore too. I know I screwed everything up. 

I know that a million apologies won't gonna change this fact of you not wanting to party with me anymore.

Putting a smile upfront cause I know you want me to be happy. But deep down, I really do hate myself for screwing it up. 

天空

属于我的那片天空到底在哪?

从来都不多问。。。

I never once prey too much into that past, I never once looked into the mirror and wonder why I allow someone to step into my life and be my everything. I never once imagine that someone could matter so much to me that my mind automatically wakes me up in the middle of the night just to check on my phone and wonder if you reach workplace or school or home saftely. When i am out with friends, i constantly check on my phone cause i dont wanna lose a minute of time to msg you knowing your busy schedule. Sometimes I even think I worry about you more than I worry about myself. 

I never once question all these cause I know I love you. I worry so much cause I care. I teared as much cause I don't want to lose any part of you along the way. I care so much cause I love.

Its a fact, do you know? 

Officially missing you!

Yes, I miss home and definitely what I miss most is my baobei angel! She is just such a cutie! Never fail to lit a smile on my face whenever I am at my lowest point. Her angelic and innocent look just melts my heart instantly! Had been skyping family about twice and angel was either hiding when she hears my voice through the computer/phone or she will look amused with her ears moving about like a satellite, trying all means to capture the sound wave and thinking where did my voice came from! 

Pre departure photos taken at home. Usually she doesn't allow that much of pictures but she seem to understand what I was saying that day. I told her to sit on my lap and take pictures with me so I could look through while i was away. She sat on my laps quietly and when I ask okay? She gave me a kiss on my lips and really looked into the camera which I placed on the table. Such a cutie! 

Post 1: "hmmmmm. Okay proper one!"

Post 2: "hmmmm. I think you had taken enough pictures of me. My eyes are closing" 

Post 3: "hmm? What is that? Photos from a higher angle to make my face look slimmer? I think I know how to! "

Lastly, missing my boy so much!!!! 20 more days to our reunion day and 10 more days to the 11th monthsary! :)) love you boy!❤ love love love love so much and missed like a million tonne! Only have one boy in my heart and always only one!❤❤❤❤❤

Dar bought food over for my family member. 爱屋及乌! 

And yes, I missed him so much till I dropped down his name at the awesomely beautiful 7 sisters! 

Only you can make me smile like theseeeee~ smiling from the bottom of my heart!

Can't wait to see you soon boy!❤❤❤

Surpriseeeeeee~ poooootatooooo~ 

感情。。。那么那么的脆弱

So far away from home physically but the heart is always at home. 

Singapore our homeland cause that is where our heart can truly rest; where our heart can really seek consoles if needed, it is where the family members are. Family are always there for you, they don't judge you for who you are, but accept and try to make you better. That family love and bonding, I don't think anyone can explain it. 

3 years of undying love and all the promises were all washed down in 1 day. I can really feel her lost, literally feel the pain especially when so much attention was given before. 1 day was how much it takes for a man to change his heart, that was how much she meant for the past 3 years. No one knows the answer why was the sudden change, especially me and her. But it disappoints me to see a love like this ending, it makes me question how and what is true love.r What's most, it hurts me to see my friend suffering like this. I will protect you,I will be with you, I will accompany you and protect you like how your family would. Stay strong girl! 

Again, wondering how far love fetches you and how far love brings you. Reminds me of a phrase I saw online, falling in love is like giving your partner a gun to point at your heart but trusting him not to pull the trigger. ❤🔫

35 days without you by my side

First of all, happy 10th monthsary darling! :))  I don't need say much cause you know how much I feel for you, you know how much you meant to me and of course know how much I love you. 

You came over for a meal - one that I solely whipped up for and then I passed you a card that touched you. Later in the day we went for movies and finally redeemed my free yoguru which was topped with your favourite nata de coco!! I guessed the whole day I pretty much surprised you with all the stuffs I did? ✌

Western set Stanley, named by chef Tan

Yoguru with your favorite nata de coco

Us braving the haze together.

And lastly, i gonna end this post with a goodbye. 

I know that night when auntie asked if you were sad about me leaving for London, you were feeling real upset deep down. I know you just didnt want to show it cause you don't want it to upset me. Yes, 1 month might seem short. But yeah, it equates to more than 8 dates, countless calls time, I will miss you. Miss you more than anything darling.

Take care of yourself in Singapore! Cover yourself well from the haze!:) drink lots of water, and definitely try to have more rest! 

All the rest that I wanted to say was all on the card. You know me, you are my everything so if I go on blabbering,you might find me naggy! X) 

Lastly, still the same old sentence. I love you - that is enough to sum up everything. 

~ I could go days without meeting you, hours without talking to you, but not a second goes by that i am not thinking about you. ❤❤❤ ~

And by the time you read this post, I will probably be in the plane alr. ✈✈

Don't be upset dar, 1 month is not gonna be a big deal right? We braced so many stuffs together, this small thing isn't going to defeat us, but it will make us stronger! 

I want to thank you a million for helping me with the packing, trying to hard to squeeze everything and then sweating all over just because of my luggage and then also thank you for having dinner with my parents and driving my family back and fro. Everything you have done is deeply embedded in my mind, all these memories is enough to last me a lifetime to smile about. so no worries about the 1 month! 

And don't be upset about not being able to give me the present already, I will bring 2 of your tee shirts, think of you all day long and all night long when I sleep and maybe also dream of you!😘😘😘

Stay safe, stay healthy, stay happy and of course, Stay as loving as now!❤❤❤