what am i looking forward to?

ask me a question now, ' just exactly what are you waiting for in return?'
i can give you an outright answer, i dont know.i seriously do not know.
i kept persuading myself the impossibilities, but i just couldn't let go,could you tell me why?

this choking feeling in my throat

this is all that paints the feeling i have deep within me now

everyone that reads this is commenting that i havent been updating this secret place. why?cause i am so lazy to on my computer nowadays. i practically am lazy to do anything these days.maybe i am getting too old?

the above picture paints all the feelings i have now.
when the age catches up with us,we look around and realize quite a bit of the stuffs no longer used to be the same.the expectation from others to you,the expectation on yourself,the loneliness, the list just isnt exhaustive.you just get so tired of practically of everything. just so sick that you dont want to whisper a single word for fear that it brings a heavy responsibility that you wouldn't want to carry.

i just got woke up with a 7 hours of sleep by a loud shot of "DO YOU HAVE A BRAIN?" plus a Loud bang on the door. yesterday i was scolded yet again for not knowing he wants to hand up the defect list.
do you want to know who is that he?yes, he is my dad.
i aren't angry with him anymore. rather i am disappointed with myself. do you know that feeling that suffocates you cause you find yourself so amusingly stupid and careless?
i am having that now.

okay. enough of my blabber.

i met up with shu ling ytd. it's just amazing that i can talk to her for hours and i never get tired from it.
if you had asked me what i am most thankful about,i am sure having friends like Shu Ling is an asset to me.
Sarang~

AND!
 Lastly, let this post end on a happy note.
WORMY is attached.with Belle getting attached Soon!
for wormy,i don't know how to spell that word "HAPPY" when i heard the news from her.i know she had to meet someone who treasured her.she is like a gem that needs lots of love,care and concern.she has found her "gem" that loves her for who she is, love her like a buddy,love her like a little princess.
go on wormy and her prince,stay blissful!

for belle, i am just so excited about her great leap of faith.i applaud for that leap cause that was what i always prayed for her.go on,take the bigger leap with that boy,you will reach somewhere.i am sure of that,the somewhere that you will reach will be a palace named -blissful forever.

these are people who are so special that no words can describe their importance to me.
bless them (:

it's already WEDNESDAYYYYYYY!

oh my oh my~tomorrow and FRIDAY is my big day! also an important for wormy! (it's her surgery time!good lucks okaY!<3)

here is the plan for tmr, 10.18 is my grade 3 piano practical exam then after me is another girl's turn then it's my youngest sis turn.yes, its indeed very embarrassing to go for grade 3 exams at such an (old) age and what's worst?i am going in with my youngest sis.i feel double the stress as compared to last year. yes, you are right again if you remember i failed my grade 2 exam!:( i think i am the first on earth,and i cannot ever erase the image of the examiner's ( a Caucasian musician who can play so well!) face when he opened the door to call me in, cause the exam is held in a kindergarten music school! so when i was there, i looked like a retarded with few young kids around me and with all the very very cute drawings on the wall.i was way too too too over-aged for that!and, everyone had an accompaniment except me, i rush there and was soaked in sweat. sometimes i really feel the loneliness.... especially when everyone has their accompaniment except me. but this year, i have my sis, i should be grateful! but in the meantime, i am also afraid that she passed the test and i fail like last year!

Then after piano exams, i going to head down to driving practice, the last one before the second attempt of driving test.

sometimes i really think i am quite a failure,dont do well in studies and dont do well in other aspects also.
but i going to and need to be positive! I WANT TO DO WELL! please protect me!(; (:

just the way i am..

i dont know why,but i just feel like blabbering a few sentence here.
i am tired,tired,tired..tired of all the things that are happening in school right now.some people are just weird,sometimes because of everything that is happening,i feel really bad;upset;disappointed.


but like what we always say, everything will come to an end. thinking on the positive note,we are still "people" playing around,just with a tired mind and heart,trying to guess what both of the peoples are thinking about.can we stop the guessing game?it's really making everyone so worn out.


together with the works upcoming:
-driving test straight after chinese new year,
-piano exam in late feb or early march
-school projects and test
it's piling up all over again!


but thinking of the happy things, CHINESE NEW YEAR is coming! YAYHHHS!<3

when things aren't the same anymore.

staying at home most of the time is practically just boring.
so i guess i can blog more,reading through my past blogs is quite a funny thing at times.
time flew,we have all grew up.
if there is a time machine,i wish i can stop it now,cause i dont wish to grow up. ' those days when we were playing at the beach till our fullest content without any worries.'

these days,i just realised the reasons why daddy always tell me life isnt that easy,if given a chance,he dont want to reborn as human,he dont want to come back.but i would answer back and say i love being born here!
the reasons are known now.cause some things,some ppl just make you feel disappointed.they somehow stabbed a knife behind your back.but i really hope it was just a misunderstanding cause i dont want to lose a friend.
the thing that really can make me feel upset is when i make a friend unhappy or when i know i am losing a friend.i really treasure those who came in.so please stay there!(:

sat- went out with wormy,vincent and mel to have pepper lunch.wormy was so funny.her first time having pepper lunch and her unagi was burnt!and mel treat us half a anderson ice cream double scoop.yummms!(:
sun-angel went for a groom and her fury round ball tail was accidentally shaved off by the groomer.and i bought my jeans.HAPPY!(:

some friends are there no mater what(:

met up with wormy vthx and honey bunny belle(:

thanks to belle,we both had one scoop of free ice cream that made me jump around telling my family members!and the most happy thing i get to see them both after quite long actually.esp belle!i still rmb our maxi shopping trip!jiayous in sch wormy and honey bunny!((((:

i love you girls!<3

a time to cool..

ytd,4 nov 2010.
met up with my dearest and sweetest Ot-ians,they are still the same,the sweetest bunch of girls that never fail to lit up your life,their smile,their hugs,their words never fail to lit me up instantly! and i do remember evelyn asking me this qns: " do you ever regret going over?"
i stoned upon hearing the qns and dori was giving me the very sad look. and i told them,if i look back,i do i guess.so i forced myself to look forward instead of backwards,cause i believe what done is done. if looking back only bring lots of pain then try forcing yourself to look forward. thus,i will continue to work hard in this path that i chose,dont worry darlings!:D
we ate at yishun,walked around,bought stuffs,chit chat and had a very time catching up.next time must meet up with my "woman"-Chan Jie Min and Wan Li larhs! haven't been talking to them for ages too. Jiayous okays babes?i know you all can do it!(:
in the morning, i met up with my laogong(serene yeo).going out with her,talking to her is like talking to my own soul.she never fails to understand me,stand by me and hear me out.i just love her to the max max max! i hope she stay healthy,grow a bit fatter and stay happy forever.cause when she is happy, i am too!:D

and wormy,cheer up okays?you arent sily,you arent stupid,you arent foolish.i love you for the way you are,everyone got their limits,thei own choice,their own pace.i will stay by you to take those steps tgt,even if it a super tiny step,it's still an improvement!so dont give up!!you are doing great!wormy is here for you!I LOVE YOU!<3

EVERYONE, JIAYOUS OHS! ((((: