Officially 21 days without you

It's officially 21 days without you. These days I am trying so hard to keep myself busy with all the stuffs so that I can get you out of mind. But why? Why are you still so constantly in it?:( 

I still love you, I really do. But I don't know how to stop that love. 

These 21 days, it seems like you are happier without me, happier without our rs. Was my concern that suffocating? Was my care too much? Or was it you really had someone deep inside your heart all along? 

I doubt you had long forgotten the meetup that I wanted, or maybe you did remembered but you didn't want a meetup cause you see no point. Or maybe you feel that it's helping me? I am so totally clueless 

慢慢地。。。

I reflected, I thought and still there were some stuffs which I won't ever understand. But I guess all these arent important at all now, I can only choose to leave you behind. I can only force myself to take baby steps to move forward; towards a future of my own. 

Somtimes I wonder if you still visit this site. This site which last time you name it as "honey's blog".. I was once your dearest honey you know? But now, what are we? 

We are just two souls leaving apart. Those two person who were once so close are now just so unfamiliar.. 

This one week seems like the longest time, everyday seems to drag. Day and night I miss you, miss you when I couldn't sleep and you would say you would pat me to sleep. Miss those moments when I say I stomachache and you will sayang my tummy. But where are you now? 

I guess I can only plant you in my dreams now. And meet you there..rmb all the dotes you had for me:(( 

I really miss you and the time we had together. 

从今以后的一个人...

淡淡的一句我们分手...

Today I walked past the streets near your blks, you weren't there to hold my hand anymore. You chose to let my hands go and not protect it anymore. 

I always always thought you doted on me and always wanted to work hand in hand in the rs with me. I gave my 110% love in the relationship and that night you left me stranded by telling me you wouldn't want to try anymore and you doubted how much was your love.

That feeling made me felt so lost, because even though time and again we had disagreements, I never once had the thought to let go... I never knew all those you did in the past one year, you still doubted your love. I was trying so hard to understand that love language, yet I never gave up.. 

Yet again, Maybe some stuffs are meant to be... If I hadn't been on the trip, maybe if I didnt complain too much... But still, you left.

从今以后我一个保护自己! 💪💪💪💪 加油! 

有那么的爱一个人过吗? 

那么那么的爱一个人，爱到我都把自己忘了。 

一千一万个问候就因为我还很爱你..

Growing up

Yes, maturing should be the word. But apparently I must admit that I don't want to mature yet. 

The society pushes you, the people around you pushes you to get into some stuffs whixh you don't even want to get into. Why is it so? 

A whole new level of surprises are awaiting me? 

I am having this internal conflict within myself. I aren't happy all the time. I know I should be, I should learn to be mature, learn to plan. 

昨天今天的我.

Blabbering continues. If you know what happened the night before, yes you are one of my closest friend. I went partying.. 

Partied real hard, I went mad on the dance floor and literally threw a person's face. I know I was at fault. I know I shouldn't do that but I don't know why the alcohol influenced me of all those actions. I just wanted an exclusive night with you and your friends. But all these thoughts were washed into the drain, I lost myself there. I portrayed myself in such a way that even your friends judge me now. 

I am sorry. And yes,no more partying ( with you). You wouldn't want to anymore too. I know I screwed everything up. 

I know that a million apologies won't gonna change this fact of you not wanting to party with me anymore.

Putting a smile upfront cause I know you want me to be happy. But deep down, I really do hate myself for screwing it up. 

天空

属于我的那片天空到底在哪?